


The Old Astronomer's Students

by golden_d



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Gen, Post Season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-24
Updated: 2010-01-24
Packaged: 2017-10-31 18:08:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/346944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_d/pseuds/golden_d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What do you get for the man who has everything?" <br/>"A hand in a jar, of course!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Old Astronomer's Students

It had started when Janet had begun vomiting all over her cell, and continued with a truly disgusting trip into the sewers. And then there were more disgusting trips into the sewers, because the SUV was just not big enough to hold six puking Weevils and twenty more dead ones. Ianto had cleaned all the Weevil puke out of the SUV, but Gwen still couldn't get the smell out of her shoes.

Obviously it was some kind of alien virus, although they didn't know what. Owen and Tosh were working on diagnosing it and then curing it before it spread to any other species - well, Tosh was working on that, with occasional input from Owen, who was busy autopsying Weevil after Weevil. Gwen and Ianto traded off helping him, but Ianto needed to keep them plied with coffee, so Gwen had done most of it.

For now, she had escaped with the excuse of paperwork. And she did have a shitload of paperwork to catch up on, reports that had gone unwritten for lack of time and interest. Now that she was writing them, she wasn't sure that they would make much sense - she was over-caffeinated and over-tired, and it wasn't like anyone was going to read them, anyway. She could make them as ridiculous as she wanted. That was what Jack did, after all.

There were several loud crashes, a triumphant shout, and then she heard Owen bellow, "OI! GET BACK HERE, YOU WELSH BASTARD!"

"Oh, Christ," Gwen swore. "I can't handle this anymore." She stood up from her work station and grabbed Toshiko's arm.

Tosh let out a startled cry as she was pulled away from her computer. "What--!"

"Owen and Ianto," Gwen said, although the shouting made it rather unnecessary to explain. The boys were fighting with metal trays and some cavalry swords that had fallen through the Rift, crashing around in the medical bay and sending echoes all around the Hub. "It's giving me a headache. Come on, let's get lunch."

Toshiko stared at her. "Lunch."

"Yes! Lunch! Get some kebabs, leave the boys to hold down the fort. We deserve some fresh air."

"It's three in the morning, Gwen," Tosh said gently. "It's a little late for lunch."

Gwen checked her watch, checked her phone, leaned over and checked the clock on Tosh's computer. Her stomach grumbled. "It feels like lunchtime, anyway," she said.

"I think there's still half of a pizza in the fridge," Toshiko suggested. "We could heat it up, take a walk on the Plass?"

"That would be - grand," Gwen said, relieved. "Absolutely grand." She scrounged up some paper plates while Tosh microwaved the pizza ("I have a pizza stone at home that works so much better than a microwave, you know"), and then with pizza in hand they ventured outside.

Even at the height of midsummer, the air was cool, and Tosh shivered against the breeze coming in off the bay. "Better tell Ianto to put on another pot of coffee," she murmured. "I'll need it to warm up."

Gwen nudged Tosh with her elbow. "Eat your pizza," she said, biting off a string of melting cheese. "I'm always cold when I'm hungry."

Toshiko refrained from comment, and they finished their slices in silence. "The pizza was a good idea," she admitted, staring up at the stars.

Gwen nodded, then gestured out at the sky. "Do you know the constellations?"

"Not very well; I was never that interested in astronomy. Do you?"

"Oh, no!" She laughed, shaking her head. "Not at all."

Neither of them said it, but Gwen suspected they were both thinking it: Jack would have known.

Gwen pointed out at the sky with her paper plate and affected a gruff American accent. "That star there is called Gamma Major Seven. It's named after an old army bud of mine. He shot me after I had sex with his sister, and they named the star after him as a reward."

Tosh laughed delightedly. "And that one there," she mimicked. "It's got a planet where they sell hands in jars at the spaceport gift shop. It's perfect! What do you get for the man who has everything?"

"A hand in a jar, of course!" Gwen studied the sky. "You can't see it from here, but there's a planet called - called Budapest. And the reason you can't see it is because it's invisible! The planet, the people, everything! And they all walk around naked because they can't see each other, which, if you're going to have nudity seems a helluva shame to me." She winked.

Tosh put her hands on her hips and leered, which in itself sent Gwen into giggles. "Why, Captain Harkness," she drawled. "What's an attractive young immortal like you doing on a Plass like this?"

"Why, Captain Harkness," Gwen replied, stifling her her laughter. "I'm on the lookout for attractive young Welshmen. Or Welshwomen. They don't even have to be Welsh! But the attractive part's a must."

"Well, Rhys is safe," Tosh deadpanned, and Gwen shrieked "Oi!" and hit her with a paper plate.

"Only teasing!" she protested, raising her own plate up in defense. The gesture quickly turned into a shiver, and Tosh hugged her arms.

"Back to work?" Gwen sighed.

"Back inside, anyway," said Tosh. "Maybe Ianto and Owen will have stopped trying to kill each other by now. Or maybe they'll have succeeded, and the Hub will be nice and quiet."

"Except for the Weevils," Gwen said glumly, and Tosh made a face.

"It's not that cold," she lied. "Let's stay out here a little longer." And after a little while, it really wasn't that cold.

They watched the stars until the sun came up.

**Author's Note:**

> This is for 51stcenturyfox, because she requested it and because she is awesome. Beta magic courtesy of the equally magical amand_r.


End file.
